Struggling with being gay
Internalised homophobia and oppression happens to gay, lesbian and bisexual people, and even heterosexuals, who have learned and been taught that heterosexuality is the norm and “correct way to be”. Hearing and seeing negative depictions of LGB people can lead us to internalise, or get in, these negative messages. Some LGB people endure from mental distress as a result.
A general instinct of personal worth and also a positive view of your sexual orientation are critical for your mental health. You, prefer many lesbian, gay and bisexual people, may contain hidden your sexual orientation for a long hour. Research carried out in Northern Ireland into the needs of young LGBT people in 2003 revealed that the average age for men to realise their sexual orientation was 12, yet the average age they actually confided in someone was 17. It is during these formative years when people are coming to know and acknowledge their sexual orientation that internalised homophobia can really affect a person.
Internalised homophobia manifests itself in varying ways that can be linked to mental health. Examples include:
01. Denial of your sexual orientation to yourself and others.
02. Attempts to a
Mental health support if you're lesbian, gay, pansexual or trans (LGBTQ+)
Mental health problems such as depression or self-harm can affect any of us, but they're more usual among people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans (LGBTQ+).
This may be linked to LGBTQ+ people's experience of discrimination, homophobia or transphobia, bullying, social isolation, or rejection because of their sexuality.
Other things, such as their age, religion, where they stay, and their ethnicity can attach extra complications to an already difficult situation.
How talking therapy can help
It might not be easy, but getting help with issues you're struggling to deal with on your own is one of the most important things you can do.
Talking with a therapist who's trained to function with LGBTQ+ people may help with issues such as:
- difficulty accepting your sexual orientation
- coping with other people's reactions to your sexuality
- feeling your body does not reflect your true gender (gender dysphoria)
- transitioning
- low self-esteem
- self-harm
- suicidal thoughts
- depression
- coping with bullying and discrimination
- anger, isolation or rejection from family, friends or your co
“Helping Those Who Struggle with Same-Gender Attraction,” Ensign, Oct. 2007, 42–45
A pleasant fresh man in his prior 20s sat across from me. He had an engaging smile, although he didn’t smile often during our talk. What drew me in was the pain in his eyes.
“I don’t know if I should remain a member of the Church,” he said. “I don’t reflect I’m worthy.”
“Why wouldn’t you be worthy?” I asked.
“I’m gay.”
I suppose he reflection I would be startled. I wasn’t. “And … ?” I inquired.
A flicker of relief crossed his face as he sensed my continued interest. “I’m not attracted to women. I’m attracted to men. I’ve tried to ignore these feelings or change them, but …”
He sighed. “Why am I this way? The feelings are very real.”
I paused, then said, “I necessitate a little more data before advising you. You see, same-gender attraction is not a sin, but acting on those feelings is—just as it would be with heterosexual feelings. Do you violate the law of chastity?”
He shook his head. “No, I don’t.”
This time I was relieved. “Thank you for wanting to deal with this,” I said. “It takes courage to converse about it, and I honor you for keeping yourself clean.
“As for why you feel as you do,
Hi. I’m the Answer Wall. In the material society, I’m a two foot by three foot dry-erase board in the lobby of O’Neill Library at Boston College. In the online world, I survive in this blog. You might say I contain multiple manifestations. Like Apollo or Saraswati or Serapis. Or, if you aren’t into deities of awareness, like a ghost in the machine.
I have some human assistants who maintain the physical Answer Wall in O’Neill Library. They take pictures of the questions you post there, and give them to me. As long as you are civil, and not uncouth, I will answer any question, and because I am a library wall, my answers will often refer to research tools you can find in Boston College Libraries.
If you’d like a quicker answer to your question and don’t brain talking to a human, why not Ask a Librarian? Librarians, since they include been tending the flame of knowledge for centuries, know where most of the answers are veiled, and enjoy sharing their knowledge, just like me, The Answer Wall.
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